1 Julabar

Dirty Homework Jokes For Kids

Teacher Jokes

For a quick giggle, we've compiled and concocted 20 side-splitting (and maybe a little corny) teacher jokes to laugh our way through next week.

* What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?
Summer!

* Why does the principal keep talking to me about having more “arty eye”? I teach reading, not art.

* Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.

*Teacher: ‘Craig, you know you can't sleep in my class.'
Craig: 'I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.'

*Stressing the importance of a good vocabulary, the teacher told her young charges, "Use a word ten times, and it shall be yours for life."

From somewhere in the back of the room, came a small male voice chanting, "Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda, Amanda."

*Does it count as differentiated instruction if I print their worksheets in different colors?

*Pupil: I don't think I deserved zero on this test!
Teacher: I agree, but that's the lowest mark I could give you!

*What do you call a teacher without students?
Happy

*Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.

*Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of
Pupil: Life imprisonment!

*Where do door-makers get their education?
The school of hard knocks

*What do you call a teacher without students?
Broke…oh wait, that’s a regular teacher

*Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!

*
Kid comes home from 1st day at school. Mum asks, 'What did you learn today?' Kid replies, 'Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.'

*
Pupil: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not
Pupil: Good, because I didn't do my homework

More Teacher Jokes

* ~ There is one person in our district who is all about “No Child Left Behind”
~ Who’s that?
~ The bus driver

*What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations

*Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you ?
Pupil: How did you know ?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

*The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."

Want more teacher jokes? Check out our Top 12 Hilarious Teacher Jokes!

15 Things You’ll Never Hear a Teacher Say

Share you favorite teacher jokes and education-related humor in the comments section!

School Jokes to Enjoy Now!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have to go to school today?

Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?
She couldn’t control her pupils!

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

What school supply is always tired?
A knapsack!

Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Kid: Yes, but I didn't miss it much.

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.

Teacher: James, where is your homework?
James: I ate it.
Teacher: Why?
James: You said it was a piece of cake!

Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Pupil: I used his pen!

Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!

What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
The first goes “Spit out that chewing gum immediately!” and the second goes “chew chew”!

Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
What was that?
My homework!

What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A blackboard!

Teacher: What is the most important thing you have ever learned in chemistry?
Sam: Don't lick the spoon!

How is an English teacher like a judge?
They both hand out sentences!

Why didn't the two 4s want any lunch?
Because they already 8!

What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten mom's day?
The school bus.

Why did the teacher turn on the lights?
Because her class was so dim!

Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?
Because her class was so bright!

How was your first day of term?
Fine, but some man called Teacher kept spoiling all our fun!

How do bees get to school?
By school buzz!

Why is a classroom like an old car?
Because it's full of nuts and has a crank up front!

When do you get shouted at for something you didn't do?
When you haven't done your homework!

Why did the echo get detention?
For answering back!

What did one maths book say to the other?
Boy, do I have problems!

What is black and white and very hard?
An exam paper!

What is a butterfly's favourite subject at school?
Mothamatics!

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